Sunday, June 19, 2011

Goodbye NJ!

Sadly, this is the last post I will write in this blog! I will have another one soon. But haleyjoyjerseygirl has come to an end. I am so happy for the wonderful times I had there.

From Chatsworth, Mt Misery to Seneca HS, I have had quite the adventures. I have been to NY City, Texas and California. I fell in love, found my true best friends and ate my first fried oreo.

Seneca is like no other place on Earth. I hope everyone
there knows it. It is a place where dreams come true. They are not torn down or discouraged, but rather ENcouraged. It truly is a family. That band room
was my home and those people will always be family to me. I just want to say a quick something about the wonderful people I met.
Gerhard. Oh Gerhard how you make me giggle =) You are someone I can always count on, because you always tell me the plain truth, whether or not I want to hear it. You never look back at mistakes, and go through life with such ease. I wish I could be more like you. I loved being your Lucy Schmeeler in the play. I will never forget it. Thank you for putting up with my sniffles and drama. You are a good listener and a great friend =)


Matt. Matt, I don't know what to say, but thank you for all the wonderful times we had. I will never forget them. You showed me the world and I cannot thank you enough for it. You were the first guy I ever loved, and I will never forget you. A part of me will always love you for the rest of my life. You are so talented and I hope that you go far with your music. I have a feeling that I will see your name on the cover of an album, or a magazine and say, "I knew that guy!" and I wouldn't be a bit surprised to see you there. Maybe Green Day will make you their newest member! I hope that one day, we will see each other again.
Emily. You. Are. BYOOOTIFUL! my dear! You have such grace and poise about you in a room that no one else has. But when you have a comeback, watch out! You can make me laugh for hours. You always know what to say to make me smile. If I am ever having a bad day, I talk to you and everything is automatically better. Thank you for that. Your voice is like an angel's and it is clear that you have such a passion for music. You will be famous on Broadway one day because of your determination. I hope to see you as Christine in the Phantom one day!
Lis. Lis, where do I start? You are the most amazing girl on the planet. You are drop dead gorgeous; every girl wishes they were you. What I love most about you is that you are not afraid to be anything but yourself. You do not care what is in or what is out, what music is popular or which clothes you should wear. You pull off overalls better than anyone! Don't let anybody ever influence you to the point where you are no longer Lis. You have such a loving heart and I am so lucky to have a friend like you!
Ana. Ana, when I say that you are my sunshine, I truly mean it. Everyday I look forward to your smile coming down the hallway to go down to the bandroom. I can't think of a better way to start my day than you =) You have such amazing perspectives on life. You have your own way of thinking and you don't care if people agree with you or not, you are determined to do things your way! I am sorry for when anybody upsets that plan of yours, or when someone makes you angry, because when you are angry the world turns black and grey. If you need me to ever bop somebody in the nose, I'll always be there. And Ana, you give the best hugs in the world =) I always love hugging you. Thank you for being there when I needed you, and know that even though I am 300 miles away, I'll always be there for you too =)
Rachel. Rachel, don't make me cry while I am writing this! I am so glad that we got so close this year. Kindred Spirits are not easy to come by. You let me jump right into your life and you instantly became the bestest friend ever. I will never forget spilling all of my life to you in gym class when we barely knew each other. But for some reason, it felt as if we knew each other for years. I will never be mad at you for anything. It just isn't possible. You are stuck to me like glue forever and I have no doubt in my mind that we will always be friends. You got me through my good times and my bad. I don't know where my life would have gone if it weren't for you. We will be neighbors one day and we will have kids who will grow up and fall in love so that we can be in-laws =)

You are the most wonderful, talented, most spectacular people I have ever met. This world is so lucky to have you in it and I feel honored to have such amazing friends. I have learned so much from you all. I can't wait to see you all again. You make up my heart <3 Go as far as you can with life and never settle for less than what you want. You all deserve the best. I love you all. <3



Tuesday, May 17, 2011

I am going to miss these peacocks!

Peacocks.
Chickens.
Guinea Hens.
Canadian Geese.
Turkey Vultures.
Turkeys.
Cranes.
Robins.
Hawks.

These are the birds I see everyday on my way to school. It is about a mile and a half of BIRDS.

I don't know what it is about this street, but they are everywhere!

The most interesting and beautiful of these feathery friends would be the peacocks. They own this street. They do not care who is driving along, or whose house roof they are singing on. They have quite the squawk!

I never thought I'd say this when we first moved here. But I am going to miss those peacocks. I will miss my friends and the person I fell in love with, even if he doesn't love me anymore. I know that my life will move on, and be okay, but never will it be the same again. I have gone through many adventures while I have been here. Some good, some bad. But all worth it to have the experiences I did. I am so glad to have met the people here. It is so hard leaving. Everything hurts.

And so I must say, I will miss these peacocks.

Thursday, April 7, 2011

A Whole New Idea!

Well, hi there! How have you been? I hope everyone is splendid. I have recently realized that not enjoying life is pointless and I am working on the optimism I have lost. I need it back, because those who truly know me know that I don't like feeling crappy. It just makes more sense to be happy. So that is my goal.
Speaking of goals, something that I would like to share would be new headlines "Music Teacher's Daughter Wants To Go Into Music!" Is that weird or what??? So, I know I am not great at music, but I never really applied myself. Music was always expected of me, so I took the classes, and thought I was pretty good. I was top chair in Elementary School, first Soprano in choir, but I never really cared or applied myself. Music was just a lot of hard work to me. But now, I have come to this high school and I see how amazing these kids are! I have never seen greater musicians in my life. Well, at least no high school students. The part that surprised me the most was the joy that they found in their music. You could see their soul come through their instruments and voices. This is something I've never witnessed. I joined the band and chorus, and halfway through the year it hit me that maybe I could become great too. I began to love it and fall in love with music. Band rhythms floated through my head at night, I'd practice fingerings on my pencils and wanting to practice every hour of every day. So I started.
I have also started playing my saxophone. And I want to be in jazz band. I probably won't get in until the present junior class leaves, but you never know. I think that it all started when my ex-boyfriend (ew that sounds gross, I'm not that old haha) shows off all the time and I wanted to prove that I can be as great or even greater. Green monster jealousy came out I guess. But I found out that when I play, all my focus turns to music and everything else that is troubling me fades away and I work and work at it, having no problems in the world. My saxophone is my goal and stress reliever.
Other things I'm doing; I am challenging a higher seat in concert band (flute) and this summer I asked my mom if she would teach me piano. Junior and Senior year, I'd also like to be in Chamber Singers at school, which is the highest choir. Senior year, if I get good at my sax, I'll have 3 music classes including Jazz Improv. This is something I want to do. It might be risky, but I do not care. I have fallen in love with music.
Isn't this crazy?

Sunday, March 13, 2011

Life's Just Yah

I really hope there are certain people not reading this. I don't know why I am so paranoid. But, blahh. I feel so blahh. I should feel extremely happy... but I am so not. I guess I just feel empty. Feeling love for someone, laying your whole life in their hands and then them ripping your heart in half is really not fun. =P I feel hopeless. That I won't find love. I feel like I am too future oriented- I'll only date and have feelings for someone if I could picture myself being with for the rest of my life, which would only end up in heartbreak. Or I'll be too scared to have feelings for anyone at all. Ugh, it's just this constant paranoia in my head of being left and leaving all the time. I can't handle it! I know I needed to end things with that guy, and I am glad things did end. It just hurts, feeling like you have no one there for you. Knowing that people don't like you thanks to lies, or fights or rumors. I don't know how to fix this feeling I have either. I need to.
I am learning saxophone. Maybe that will get my mind off of things for a while. It is the perfect time. I hope my mom understands that all this squeaking and squawking is only to fill this empty void. I think that the majority of my texts are from my dad trying to reach my mom. Which, for a fifteen year old, is very lonesome.
Rachel is here this weekend while her parents are in Boston. And Mom is sick, so it is a little slow around here. I need to do something right now. I have been writing everywhere trying to just fix whatever my problem is. Lis was right when she told me that "thinking is dangerous". I need to stop doing that.
I told Rachel that I hate feeling depressed. And she has been such a good friend, listening to me groan on and on about how blah I feel. I need to do something for her to thank her. I couldn't ask for a better friend. I feel bad that she hears me complain. I have no one else to complain to, unless I started talking to myself, but I think she'd think I was a little weird then ;)
I know things will get better. Life is just yah, so many good things are happening, I just need to stop feeling this pang of hopelessness. Or as Anne Shirley would put it, "The depths of despair". Ha, I'll get there. Ranting seems to help a lot.