A Whole New Idea!

Well, hi there! How have you been? I hope everyone is splendid. I have recently realized that not enjoying life is pointless and I am working on the optimism I have lost. I need it back, because those who truly know me know that I don't like feeling crappy. It just makes more sense to be happy. So that is my goal.

Speaking of goals, something that I would like to share would be new headlines "Music Teacher's Daughter Wants To Go Into Music!" Is that weird or what??? So, I know I am not great at music, but I never really applied myself. Music was always expected of me, so I took the classes, and thought I was pretty good. I was top chair in Elementary School, first Soprano in choir, but I never really cared or applied myself. Music was just a lot of hard work to me. But now, I have come to this high school and I see how amazing these kids are! I have never seen greater musicians in my life. Well, at least no high school students. The part that surprised me the most was the joy that they found in their music. You could see their soul come through their instruments and voices. This is something I've never witnessed. I joined the band and chorus, and halfway through the year it hit me that maybe I could become great too. I began to love it and fall in love with music. Band rhythms floated through my head at night, I'd practice fingerings on my pencils and wanting to practice every hour of every day. So I started.

I have also started playing my saxophone. And I want to be in jazz band. I probably won't get in until the present junior class leaves, but you never know. I think that it all started when my ex-boyfriend (ew that sounds gross, I'm not that old haha) shows off all the time and I wanted to prove that I can be as great or even greater. Green monster jealousy came out I guess. But I found out that when I play, all my focus turns to music and everything else that is troubling me fades away and I work and work at it, having no problems in the world. My saxophone is my goal and stress reliever.

Other things I'm doing; I am challenging a higher seat in concert band (flute) and this summer I asked my mom if she would teach me piano. Junior and Senior year, I'd also like to be in Chamber Singers at school, which is the highest choir. Senior year, if I get good at my sax, I'll have 3 music classes including Jazz Improv. This is something I want to do. It might be risky, but I do not care. I have fallen in love with music.

Isn't this crazy?

Life's Just Yah

I really hope there are certain people not reading this. I don't know why I am so paranoid. But, blahh. I feel so blahh. I should feel extremely happy... but I am so not. I guess I just feel empty. Feeling love for someone, laying your whole life in their hands and then them ripping your heart in half is really not fun. =P I feel hopeless. That I won't find love. I feel like I am too future oriented- I'll only date and have feelings for someone if I could picture myself being with for the rest of my life, which would only end up in heartbreak. Or I'll be too scared to have feelings for anyone at all. Ugh, it's just this constant paranoia in my head of being left and leaving all the time. I can't handle it! I know I needed to end things with that guy, and I am glad things did end. It just hurts, feeling like you have no one there for you. Knowing that people don't like you thanks to lies, or fights or rumors. I don't know how to fix this feeling I have either. I need to.

I am learning saxophone. Maybe that will get my mind off of things for a while. It is the perfect time. I hope my mom understands that all this squeaking and squawking is only to fill this empty void. I think that the majority of my texts are from my dad trying to reach my mom. Which, for a fifteen year old, is very lonesome.

Rachel is here this weekend while her parents are in Boston. And Mom is sick, so it is a little slow around here. I need to do something right now. I have been writing everywhere trying to just fix whatever my problem is. Lis was right when she told me that "thinking is dangerous". I need to stop doing that.

I told Rachel that I hate feeling depressed. And she has been such a good friend, listening to me groan on and on about how blah I feel. I need to do something for her to thank her. I couldn't ask for a better friend. I feel bad that she hears me complain. I have no one else to complain to, unless I started talking to myself, but I think she'd think I was a little weird then ;)

I know things will get better. Life is just yah, so many good things are happening, I just need to stop feeling this pang of hopelessness. Or as Anne Shirley would put it, "The depths of despair". Ha, I'll get there. Ranting seems to help a lot.

I Love High School

Hello everybody! May I just start by saying that I absolutely loveeee high school? Who would have thought that? It is even better than I could ever imagine. You know people always think of high school as a mean scary drugged up place. But here, it isn't. They call the student body "The Seneca Family". I could not agree with that any more. I feel like I belong. That is something I have not felt before. No matter how hard I always tried, it never seemed to happen. Seneca gives me the wonder, fantasies and splendor of what high school can be.

I have a best friend here named Rachel. She is absolutely the nicest girl I have ever met. We made fast friends and now are inseparable. We argue all the time, but we have fun arguing if that makes any sense. It isn't really arguing. I'd say more debate.

Ana, Lis, Emily, and Gerhard are also really amazing friends that I have made and I am so glad that I have. There are several more, but I know that the list would go on forever. Isn't that a great thing to say?

Also I HAVE A BOYFRIEND! His name is Matt. He is the sweetest, funniest best friend I have ever met. We text almost 24/7, and my poor mother gets annoyed by it. We have so much to say that we are addicted to our phones. Matt just puts a smile on my face each day and I am so glad that he is here. I tell him everything, like him to me.

My favorite part about high school is that people accept me for me. I don't feel I have to change myself to fit in. I don't care what people think of me. I just feel comfortable. I could walk in with my pajamas on and my friends wouldn't think of me any differently.

Well, I hope everyone else is having a wonderful time and is enjoying the cooler weather.

Tah tah for now!

What a Wonderful World

Have you ever felt truly happy in your life? Like how can anything ever be better than this? You try not to waste any second you have so you can savor it. Lately, that is what i feel all the time =)

School is amazing! My classes are wicked hard, but somehow I manage. God is good when I found a group of students who are just right for me. I am loving marching band. Most of my friends are in it... but I didn't meet any of them until after high school started. Ahh high shcool. It is such the life!

Homecoming is coming up shortly and I'm pretty sure who my date will be =)

I hope everyone else's life is going great!

With Love Haley

In the New House!

Hello! I am posting from our new house! Yippee! It is in a small and safe town, still in my school district of course! It is in between both mine and my mother's schools. It is VERY tiny. We only get half of the house, someone else lives in the other part. It is only a couple of people, so I guess we fit just fine. I miss my dad though. Luckily he is here with us today to visit. He surprised us a couple days ago and will be leaving tomorrow morning.

BAND CAMP

Yes, band camp has started and I am officially a band geek ;) I love it though! I already feel like a member of the family. We all get along just marvelously. I have made some great friends! I have a feeling that they are kindred spirits! I went to a fair with Tori a couple weeks ago, and Stephanie and I are practicing tomorrow afternoon.

I am very eager to start school. Mom and I are bored silly. I'm sure that we would be anyways if Ginger, Lily and Dad were with us. School is just who we are.

A Long Way Gone Memoirs of Boy Soldier...

This is the book that we had to read for sch0ol. It is QUITE disturbing and I do not recommend it. Yes, it shows the horrors of Sierra Leone Africa in the war. It is a true story, which makes it all the more disturbing...

I'll keep everyone updated! With Love, Haley

Live Life To Its Fullest

Hello readers! I am writing to share that my life is no longer as complicated as it was. A sudden sense of relief has swept through my heart! I cannot explain much about it right now considering it is still on the D.L. I will explain more as I can.

Also, I have a beach day planned for Monday with the teachers and maybe Marilyssa too? I need to call her tonight with the details but my mother has gone to talk with Judy in private so that might be hard to do. But still the ocean is always fun!

Color Guard is going great! I can't wait to post pictures soon!

I am so psyched for high school :P

In New Hampshire...

Hello everybody! I am in my beloved New Hampshire. We are staying at Grandma's for the week. I as always got my teeth tightened today. My new colors I chose are light pink and dark pink... kind of on the girly side this time. I think that blue is my favorite though.

You know, over the past months I have really enjoyed New Jersey. I have made it my home for the time being, and for high school surprisingly it is the only place I would want to be. I do love New Hampshire, but New Jersey has grown on me. Plus that high school is like a dream. Go to

www.lrhsd.org and click on the Seneca High School link. It is unimaginable.

Eighth grade is now over and boy did I have a great time. Haha we went to New York City, Fairview Lake Camp and the ocean! Graduation was a blast too. When I get the pictures on my computer I will post them here. Lol my hair was awesome! But the Lion King was my favorite thing this year.

Haha I have also made some great friends. No Diana Berry yet, but definitely some kindred spirits.

I am so excited for High School next year, I think that it will be a blast =)

In my Last Technology Class! =(

Hello fellow bloggers =) I am writing from my last technology class! It is very sad, but I am really excitied for summer! Graduation is 6 days away and I am psyched! Summer is just so close, yet so far! Lol. We took our last science test today, I don't think that I did very well... Oh well. I tried my best and I studied hard. Hopefully it won't be as bad as I think. This upcoming week will be a piece of pie, as all last weeks of school are.

Summer this year is still a mystery, but I have been thinking of what I will do. If we are up in New Hampshire this summer, then I will probably be doing Summer Theater. The show this year is "Alice in Wonderland". Sounds like fun! Alec told me a few people joining this summer, hopefully more than that will join. So if you are reading this... DO SUMMER THEATER!!!

If we are in New Jersey this summer, then well it might be really boring. I would stay around camp and help out, but that gets old after fourteen summers. We'll see what happens =)

I will be coming up to New Hampshire soon, thanks to my braces =) You know something, I never thought that I would be happy that I have braces, but I am lol.


Hmmm... what else is new? To tell you the truth, I really don't know. At least nothing that I can mention right now. I will post again soon =)

Hope your summer is going great! Love you all =)
-Haley

Cheerleading

Hello everybody! I hope that you are all well!

Guess what? I am going to try out for cheerleading in the fall! I figured that since I dance, and the cheer team at the school I am going to next year doesn't do tumbling (that goodness!) So why not? The girls seem really nice. Plus, I could join the FCA (Fellow Christian Athletes) club. The high school is also involved in the church that we are going to! How fun!

I am really psyched to go to high school. =)

I need to keep up with blogging!

Wow, it has been a while. Sorry. How's everybody doing? Idk if anyone even reads this but who cares? I do. So school is soooooooo weird. Middle school is just weird. You know when I was little I was scared of teenagers. To this day I am scared of teenagers yet I am one. Huh. Ironic. I do not think that I belong in middle school and I think that I will be much better off in high school. It is like middle school totally blinds you from the rest of the world. Somehow I see others not see the reality of how stupid it all is. There is too much drama for the girls. And not to mention boys. Why do girls even have to like boys? It makes everything so much more complicated. It is hard to be in middle school is all I am saying and I am so close to be to the end of it.